And The Research that Backs them Up

Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash

Depression is an asshole. Psychotherapists have come up with all sorts of explanations of thoughts or behaviors or social conditions that bring it about. Psychiatrists have measured all sorts of neurotransmitters and chemical imbalances that they believe are the root cause.

But the best, most overarching, fundamental definition of depression that I can come up with is just that: Depression is an asshole.

Things are going great in your life, and depression is the asshole that shows up like, “Fuck you. You’re worthless. You've not got enough. None of this is good enough. The world is shit. People are shit…

Dr. Evelin Dacker on Sex Positivity, Shameless STIs, Polyamory, and a Sex Ed Curriculum for the 21st Century

Having good sex is one of the best parts of being alive, and we are afraid of it. This fear is reflected in the evolution and current state of sexual education in the United States. Conversations around sex education began in the 60s as a way to address our fears regarding rising teen pregnancy rates. During and following the AIDS crisis, the focus became more on STIs and condom use. Starting in the 90s, we decided to give in to our fears altogether, and tell teenagers and young adults to stop having sex entirely. “Abstinence-Only Until Marriage” was born. It…

Five Forms of Sexual Language for Superior Lovers

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash

Let’s face it, most young men do not learn about sex in a classroom, from friends, or from reading blogs like this. If you grew up with an internet connection, you likely learned most of what you know about sex from porn. Though it can be fun to watch, learning sex from porn is like learning how to fight by watching professional wrestling.

If you go into sexual encounters thinking it’s going to all work out, and it’s going to be amazing, you are likely to be disappointed. Women enjoy sex, but it is estimated that 35–40% of women experience…

Easy and Accessible Poses that Can be Brought into the Bedroom

Photo by Ginny Rose Stewart on Unsplash

Practicing yoga will improve your sex life. And no, not just in a woo woo spiritual sense, but in very grounded, physical ways. Yoga teaches you about your body and your physical limits. It improves stamina, strength, and flexibility. More importantly though, it helps to show you things that you can do with your body that you may have not tried, or even thought about, which lends itself well to exploring new sexual positions. The positions listed in this article are fairly easy and accessible to most people.

Bridge Pose

Martin Mezei’s Transformation From Womanizer to Compassionate Partner

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

He had the game figured out. He had read all the books, learned the techniques, and was now sleeping with 3–5 women per week. Martin Mezei was a pick-up artist and a really good one at that. He was living a life that was a far cry from that of his childhood of shyness, insecurity, and feelings of rejection from his peers, “even the nerds,” as he says. He was the alpha male now, the kind of guy who pointed at a woman across the bar and said, “You see that? I hit that?” That’s when the anxiety attacks started.

A list of good and bad reasons

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev from Pexels

I love sex. For most of the second half of 2020 however, I decided I didn’t want it anymore. I declared myself celibate after a breakup of a year and a half relationship. That, and every relationship before it had been monogamous.

I remember talking with an ex during this time, an ex who is polyamorous. I described to her all of the reasons I was taking a break from sex. I talked to her about what I wanted out of a relationship, and what I didn’t want. “Dude,” she said, “It sounds like you’re polyamorous.”

I thought that she…

Four Approaches for Men to Cultivate a Positive Sexuality

Photo by Åaker on Unsplash

Heterosexual men today are stuck between two dominant cultures regarding their sexuality. One is a culture of empowerment. This culture encourages men to be pick up artists, using women for sex and treating them like conquests. It is a culture that encourages men to dehumanize women, sometimes in violent ways.

The other culture is that of disempowerment. It is a “don’t do this” culture. Don’t be Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein. Don’t have sex with or touch women without their consent. Don’t treat women with disrespect. Don’t objectify women.

From both sides, the message is clear, especially to young men…

And 3 Practices for a Deeper Sexual Connection

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

You are already a good lover. Congratulations! It’s evident you are, because you care enough to read an article about how to be better. But you don’t just want to be good. You recognize that there is something more when it comes to sex.

When you get to a certain point, sex stops becoming about methods or positions. If you want to take sex to the next level, you’ll need to reframe your conceptions of sex itself. When does sex start and stop? What is the objective of sex? How does sex relate to our energy, state of being, spirit…

A Week of Traveling Without and Within

Photo by Sean Abramowitz

It was the way she had taught me to travel: driving long stretches across the country, parking and sleeping at whichever rest stop or national forest I landed upon. Plans would always be tenuous, and based on the feelings of the moment. The sleeping situation made that possible. She taught me how to fold down the back seats of my SUV, throw in a memory foam mattress topper, and basically have a bed on wheels. We weren’t tourists or hotel guests, shoppers or consumers, campers or hikers, we were just humans inhabiting the earth. …

Moving Past Our Misconceptions About Men and Sex

Photo by Sam Burriss on Unsplash

One of my first memories of a sexually charged interaction between a man and a woman was when I was ten years old watching Jim Carrey in The Mask. As he watched an attractive woman sing a song in a club, his tongue fell out of his mouth, his eyes popped out, and eventually his face turned into that of a dog as he howled in her direction. …

Sean Abramowitz

Sean writes at the intersection of spirituality and sexuality. He is currently training to be a clinical mental health counselor.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store